Sunday, November 11, 2012

Sucky Setback

      On November 6, I went back to John’s Hopkins for my second check up on the clinical trial. Until they read my November 1 brain MRI, everything was good to go to continue on the trial. 

Unfortunately, the brain MRI showed another, very small, brain tumor and still some continued swelling around my other four brain tumors. The sponsors of the trial would not allow me to continue on the drug because of the new tumor – I suppose it is too risky if the results were not immediate or status quo.

This hit me pretty hard.  I was really counting on this drug to provide some way to beat down these brain tumors. I cried in the office. Which I do not like to do. My parents were there with me and am eternally grateful for their support. It took a few hours and a long ride home for me to come to terms with yet another set back in this cancer adventure.

There is some good news. The CT scan of my body showed no new activity in my torso. There was a small spot in my liver that looked new – but no change In my other liver tumors.

As a completely different side story, the day I went to John Hopkins, I decided to go for some ‘retail therapy’ and stopped by the gas station afterwards. I really should not have driven, but I wanted an hour to shop for myself. While at the gas pump, I somehow tripped over the gas line, and landed on my face – right side. I really knocked my head hard – and scraped up the right side of my body.  It was terribly painful, and it happened so fast I thought I blacked out. I somehow got up off the ground, finished gassing up and limped home with my contact lens out of whack and leaving a shoe behind. I was so humiliated. It was not a good Wednesday. I was miserable and embarrassed and you should see my face. It looks like I got into a fight – with a big black eye and bruised cheek. And I had to work this weekend – with PTA’s board of directors in town – me and my black and purple bruised eye and ego. It sucked telling people my story. Just one more thing…

I want to try to stay the course – be positive and make it through this next stage in my cancer as I try to always to. I need hope to keep moving.

I see Dr. Wilkenson next Wednesday. I pray she give me some options and hope.

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